If you’ve done these 5 things by 40, you’re more successful than you think
Turning 40 can feel like one of those major life checkpoints. You might find yourself asking, “Have I done enough? Am I where I’m supposed to be?” It’s easy to get caught up in comparisons—especially these days, when a quick scroll through social media can make everyone else look like they’re crushing it 24/7. But here’s a thought: success isn’t always measured by fancy job titles, social media clout, or the size of your bank account. Sometimes it’s about the quieter, foundational things you’ve built over the years. If you’ve done the five things I’m about to share, chances are you’re already more successful than you think. Let’s dive in. 1. You know (and live by) your values Your values become like a personal compass, guiding you away from paths that might look lucrative or exciting on the surface but leave you feeling hollow. When you make choices that line up with who you are at your core—whether it’s walking away from a toxic job, standing your ground in personal relationships, or even deciding how to spend your free time—you’re already winning. If by 40 you’ve pinpointed what truly matters to you and you make your decisions accordingly, you’re ahead of the game. Not everyone develops that level of clarity and courage to act on it. And if you ask me, there’s real success in that sense of inner alignment. 2. You’ve cultivated meaningful relationships Ever notice how some folks hit 40 with a handful of truly ride-or-die friends, while others have a giant circle but zero people they’d call at 2 a.m.? That’s because real relationships—be they friendships, romantic partnerships, or family ties—require consistent effort and emotional investment. One of key findings by famous Harvard Study on adult development that started tracking people’s lives back in 1938 was that strong relationships significantly affect our health and happiness. People who have meaningful connections not only feel more fulfilled, they also tend to live longer. So if you’ve surrounded yourself with a few close, supportive individuals by the time you reach 40, your life is already a success story in the making. It might seem simple, but in a world filled with networking events, Zoom calls, and social media “friends,” having even two or three genuine connections is huge. It could be as simple as sending a text to check in or remembering a friend’s big presentation at work. If you’ve been that friend who invests time in the little things, you’re doing something absolutely essential that a lot of people overlook. 3. You’ve learned to manage your finances (or at least you’re trying) I know, talking about finances can be as fun as watching paint dry, but let’s be honest: poor money management is one of the biggest sources of stress in adulthood. I started reading books on personal finance and time-management. “I’ve mentioned this before but it was a game-changer” Some insights were basic—pay yourself first, build an emergency fund, invest in assets that grow over time—but it all added up to a more stable way of living. “Lack of patience changes everything.” When we’re impatient financially, we rack up credit card debt or jump into questionable investments. Learning to handle money with a bit of patience and foresight is underrated. If by 40 you’re no longer living paycheck to paycheck (or at least have a plan to break out of that cycle), that’s a massive win. In a culture that often glamorizes overspending, being financially mindful is a real power move. 4. You’ve embraced continuous learning One of the biggest indicators of long-term success is the willingness to remain a perpetual student of life, well after formal schooling ends. Take on that personal development seminar you are curious about or challenge yourself to read one new non-fiction book each month. That commitment to keep learning is what keeps us flexible, relevant, and infinitely more interesting. By cultivating a habit of continuous learning, you’re positioning yourself to adapt and thrive no matter how the world shifts around you. If you’re already doing this, trust me, you’re far more successful than someone who might have a fancy title but is closed off to new knowledge. 5. You’ve developed resilience through failure Last but not least, resilience—the ability to bounce back after a setback and keep moving forward. Failure isn’t a sign that you’re doomed; it’s the price of entry if you want to achieve something worthwhile. Seth Godin famously said, “The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.” By 40, if you’ve accumulated your fair share of failures and learned to pivot instead of quitting outright, that’s something to celebrate. Also, resilience isn’t just about career or finances. It’s about weathering tough personal times—maybe you had a significant relationship end, or you faced a health scare, or you lost someone you loved. Getting back up and finding a sense of direction again is a hallmark of true success. It indicates you’re not just drifting through life; you’re actively shaping it, even when circumstances feel overwhelming. Putting it all together Life at 40 shouldn’t just be a checklist of achievements. It’s more like a puzzle you’ve gradually been piecing together. If you’ve got a clear sense of your values, a handful of meaningful relationships, a workable plan for your finances, a thirst for continuous learning, and resilience when things go sideways, you’re in a pretty good place—no matter what anyone else’s highlight reel might suggest. Success isn’t always about having the perfect job, the perfect home, or even the perfect life. More often, it’s about small daily habits, the people you care about, and the willingness to keep growing. If that’s something you can relate to, you’ve already made it. We tend to underestimate our own progress, especially when we hold ourselves to society’s ever-shifting standards. But trust me, if you’re ticking even a couple of these boxes, you’re probably doing far better than you realize. And if you’re not quite there yet? That’s okay—there’s plenty of time